~^~->/.._-`'~~ ********APPLY TRANSLATION******** It's been over two weeks... When are they going to work? -RS
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>/}';--.+_~'>-',{.',,[^ ********APPLY TRANSLATION******** I didn't poo today. The wet weather was too much for the humans. Although they failed to escort me on my daily stroll, I'm ok with it. I hate it when my paws get wet. I have exceptional news! I was served salmon in addition to my normal rations. I am hooked on salmon! I'm not sure what we were celebrating... we were just loafing around, and this family excels at lethargic living. They were watching something on that fabricated picture window appliance with some dogs... oh yeah, I guess I'm a "dog", and "wolves"... I don't know, I couldn't smell them. I want to try fishing. Did I tell you about the Salmon!?!? I'm also not entirely sure how I feel about rolling chairs. I just know that you should never trust them. I really need to poo... -RS
"^|,"/+~:> -..`~>/}';--.+_~'>-',{..',,[-- ********APPLY TRANSLATION******** We all know that this planet is shaped like an egg and today time was scrambled. Brunch was delayed four hours... I ate lunch. Philip (the arrogant clear forcefield) opened once and he would have killed me dead if I attempted escape... I still need to figure out his inconsistent timing. Was that a bird...? Why does my belly itch? Speaking of inconsistent... the youngest of my human guardians, Jackson, normally has tasty feet parts. Not today! The biggest component of his wiggly feet, his big toe, tasted like butt rubbish and soup. Disappointed. A mysterious package containing my favorite chewy chewys was left at the front portal earlier today. I am grateful to accept this flavorsome mind-boggler. The Emperor's New Groove sucked! Disney failed... and I'm canine! Ok, it's late... and I'm tired. Gonna...
-..`~>/}';--.+_~'"^|,"/+~:>>-',_...{..',,[-- ********APPLY TRANSLATION******** Recently, I was referred to as a "Bad Boy." I do not deserve such slander. Liquid falls from the upper atmosphere without warning and I refuse to subject my fuzzy furry paws to that cold wet misery. My guardians NEVER attempt to journey without shielding themselves with synthetic materials... to protect against... IS THAT CHICKEN? Umm... water, yes, water. Water Bad! Rusty Good! I'm the goodest boy! Other than that harsh insult, they've been pleasant to be around. They sleep most of the day and never go anywhere. From what I can understand, the humans are afraid of a growing set of concentric circles of light consisting of highly ionized elements called "Corona" or they're simply setting a new standard of lazy. I don't mind as long as the treats continue to flow in my direction. The couch has grown angry with m...
….;.'.,/"/;.,-`=';./,<^`~":/|}^....<.,,.' ********APPLY TRANSLATION******** I've been unable to communicate. My 2-legged guardians refuse to leave home base. We can assume that they know my the details of my mission and... I smell yummy treats... and they, well, six years undercover will go to waste. I love pepperoni! Today was a learning experience. I successfully defeated my feline counterpart in an intense staring competition. Her intimidation and outlandish acrobatic fighting ability were no match for my proficiency to do absolutely nothing for two Earth minutes and thirty one seconds. I was victorious and I made my ancestors well-pleased. Pepperoni is happy treats! I'm trying to learn how to spit. I think that I am closer than ever. I cannot dig in the bedroom! The carpet will not budge...it mocks me. I think I heard a cheese stick sing last week... but I could be mistaken. Critical thinki...