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********APPLY TRANSLATION********

Recently, I was referred to as a "Bad Boy."  I do not deserve such slander.  Liquid falls from the upper atmosphere without warning and I refuse to subject my fuzzy furry paws to that cold wet misery.  My guardians NEVER attempt to journey without shielding themselves with synthetic materials... to protect against... IS THAT CHICKEN?  Umm... water, yes, water.  Water Bad!  Rusty Good!  I'm the goodest boy!

Other than that harsh insult, they've been pleasant to be around.  They sleep most of the day and never go anywhere.  From what I can understand, the humans are afraid of a growing set of concentric circles of light consisting of highly ionized elements called "Corona" or they're simply setting a new standard of lazy.  I don't mind as long as the treats continue to flow in my direction.

The couch has grown angry with me again.  

My loud canine neighbors continue to argue about the secret ingredients that make up "quality peanut butter."  I told them last year that the only ingredient was peanuts and they have not shut up since.  I refuse to bark back.  I like peanut butter, but you should taste my right front paw today...  Scrumptious!

Ok, I'm done for now.  I'm gonna roll over and write a poem about yogurt. 

-RS